In his new book, “Sexual Intelligence,” Marty Klein, Ph.D – a renowned sex therapist with more than 30 years of experience – challenges readers to think about their sex lives as though they suddenly woke up in a foreign land, without any knowledge of the language and only a handful of resources from which to draw.
Klein builds on his premise of sexual intelligence by offering us a beguilingly simple equation: sexual intelligence = information + emotional skills + body awareness.
“We are born sensuous; we become erotic. To cultivate the erotic is also to engage with sexuality as a quality of aliveness and vitality that extend beyond a mere repertoire of sexual techniques. We learn to play, be curious, engage with our imagination, anticipate. Erotic intelligence is our ability to bring novelty to the enduring, mystery to the familiar, and surprise to the known.”
“Sexual intelligence is useful in different ways at different times of our life,” writes Klein. “In our 20s, in exploring the sexual world; in our 30s, in bonding with a partner and establishing a sexual rhythm; in our 40s, in tolerating and adapting to change; in our 50s, in saying goodbye to youthful sex; in our 60s and beyond, in creating a new sexual style,”
In essence, ‘Sexual Intelligence’ is ones ability to evolve sexually in a manner befitting age, maturity and acquired knowledge of self, partner and environment. Being wholly present in the process of said evolution requires adaptability to all facets of the experience in accordance to the needs and desires of each other and each individual partner throughout ones sexual lifespan.